What is it to feel alive? To have such a rush of endorphins to your body or mind that leaves you invigorated? Such an experience which leaves you speechless, where you can only close your eyes to relive it as your face lights up to the feeling.
Is it the risk of jumping out of a plane and embracing the high fall with the body freedom, Is it the tingles you get from affection of an admired one, is it the passion you put into an interest which rewards you or is it the fear of almost reaching the bright light?
How do we get our highs, inspirations or enlightenments? What makes your sensations? What does it take for you to channel in on your true happiness or drive?
Why are we only challenged for the better when we come across a traumatic event or wrong doing? What actions must we face to redirect our ways on the path of internal and external bliss?
What is it about an outside perspective that sets us straight? What causes us to wake up, shake ourself from our old ways and reshape our vision? The awakening of the mind, body and spirit which evokes us to desire a greater life or self.
I’ve had a lot of instances in my life which reorients me, causes me to step back and analyze not only the situation but my journey. Images and messages of my guardian angel, loss of consciousness led seizure, focuses from the Lord and my out of body experience. Most people think of these experiences as taboo or unrealistic; I can ensure you they are all REAL and my truth. I brushed off these parts of my life, I was so shocked and knew no one would understand. These experiences are significant not only in the physical sense but emotionally and spiritually.
My eighth grade year there were a ton of scares of kidnapping, I would lay awake in my room at night so afraid of being taken and killed. For a while it was the only thing I would think about, the intense fear of being stolen from my life and torturted to my death. One night it got to me so bad that I locked my bedroom door and hid from the world. Normally when I lock my door my parents are able to unlock it from the outside and are able to reach me. I was finally able to fall asleep, I was so tired from my restless mind that I had a deep sleep that night. I remember dreaming and this female centered in my mind and dream, I couldn’t make out her face, it was only her and a beam of bright light. She kept telling me “Kelby wake up”…..”Kelby you need to wake up.” I thought this was so odd, she was so calm and repatitive with her request of me waking up. I eventually gave in and woke to the sheer scream of my mother trying to reach me and unlock my door. My mother was screaming “KELBY YOU NEED TO GET OUT THERE’S A FIRE!!!” “KELBY UNLOCK YOUR DOOR…KELBY!”
I instantly shot up, shivers and confusion ran through my body. I’m normally not a deep sleeper and have never had a dream like that before. What if I didn’t dream of this, What if I didn’t lock my door, would I have the same dream? Who was this lady? How did she know how to reach me or Why did she reach me? I was silent for the next couple of days thinking of my dream, the accident of the fire and how lucky we were to be safe.
A year later in the winter time, my mother was driving my two younger siblings and I to school. The roads were a little slick and the snow had built up over the past couple of weeks. We were getting ready to pass the church before the set of lights when another van pulls out infront of us, one of the snow banks had limited her sight so she proceeded the four lane traffic. I remember reaching my hands out and screaming “MOM!” Next thing I know, I’m looking over a crowd of people looking into my passenger window and windshield. One of my sisters friend was starring at me like I was dead, looking at me with tears in his and so concerned. Who were these people crowding our van? My next image I saw was the same angel, she was infront of the smoke and bright light, once again telling me to wake up. I slowly opened my lids to sight of pole we crashed into, the white smoke filling the van and the relieved crowd. I was so blank, I knew of nothing from when I screamed “MOM” until the moment I woke. I instantly blacked out, during the first T-Bone hit, the spin from the impact, the second T-Bone hit and then the crash into the pole. My mother was trying to talk to me through her cries, she was happy to see me awake but kept apologizing for the crash. I couldn’t talk to her, I was speechless, I had no idea what to think of the current moment. I was drained from the cries, the scared looks and the commotion of the car wreck. I thought nothing of my day, I had no emotion or focus.
MESSAGES FROM THE LORD
LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS
OUT OF BODY
After a mediation, my friend and I went back to my place to hang out and finish the night with some Resortative yoga. The Resortative practice, is a sequence of still poses focused on breathing, relaxing the mind and completing the body with wholeness.
I was laying there, body chilling and feeling cold sensations and almost numbing embrace over the top layer of my body. Bursts of a vibrating coldness migrated and filled spaces of my outer skin. I saw my self sitting inside an emerald grey cave, filling with the splashing of water falls, spilling with pain. Feeling a shower of spraying tranquility. My hour glass sat crossed leg. Visioning my self through the falling streams. I balance my self among the ripples, getting a sense of the space. The serenity of sprinkled drops to my face, sends the roaming sensations back to my knees and back of my calves. I feel the strong grip of my lower back to the earth. My curvature in my back side streams through. Sparking to the top of my mouth, only feeling the outline of my slowly moving mouth. The sensation glides to my eyes, creating a Tiffany blue sparks to fill the dark vision scene filling my screen of my eyes. The sensation flows to my neck, tickling my spine. Circulating my blood flow, invigorating my veins. The sensations spurts down my spine, I feel the strengths of the spine to the floor, I feel the support of my arched back. My feet light not the floor, still and holding balance. I saw myself as an outline or a frame embracing the stillness of the therapeutic sounds. Floating with my body’s breath, waves of breath swimming through my body creating a melody of eased movements. My frame fills with the brights of the sky, whites of the fluffed yet fuzzy clouds. Soft blues fill the gaps from the clouds, white neons shine in as a breath calms the rays my way. My body pure and light. My spirit floated above, feeling full as a hug. Aware of my surroundings and presence. I take in my breath and let the gush glide down my lungs.
I embrace the air on my skin, feeling peaceful, an image of a vacationed beach lay. I see the waves accompany the currents of my breathing. I imagine a shadowing palm tree, shading my presence, allowing gleams of light to warm my portrait. The smooth sound of waves desperately crashing on shore… I feel full of baby blue hushes, breezes sooth through gushes. My center active and alive. I feel fluid and free, smile from ease, wholesome from clarity. A cleansed citrus view, beams of happiness so true. A clarified renew. I gently open my eyes, I didn’t know if this was a high or a quick fall into a dive. Appreciative of the scene filled disguise. A new way to look at mediation and flow of life.
*This passage was written on my cell phone after the event, with my eyes close. I can only describe or re-live the experience with my eyes shut! Crazy huh?*
I have experienced God’s presence and meaning in a time of question. I have reached death a couple times, been guided back to life from my guardian angel. Lost control of my body in a negative and positive, making me feel more alive. These events lead me to question my role and significance on this Earth. Such lost control of your body and consciousness has you question not only yourself, but your importance, role and intentions for this time and place.